Seimone Augustus is a legend—a walking highlight off the court and on. Money Mone retired in 2021 after 15 years in the W and is now on the coaching staff of the Los Angeles Sparks.
Here's why you should stan:
Lets begin with her Credentials
What were you doing in July 2011? Probably NOT being the WNBA Conference Player of the Month. Per WNBA DOT COM, Seimone has achieved the following in her career:
- WNBA Champion (2011, 2013, 2015, 2017)
- WNBA Finals MVP (2011)
- WNBA Rookie of the Year (2006)
- All-WNBA First Team (2012)
- All-WNBA Second Team (2006, 2007, 2011, 2013, 2014)
- Western Conference All-Star (2006, 2007, 2011, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2017)
- Western Conference Player of the Month (July 2011)
- Western Conference Player of the Week (2006:1, 2008:1, 2009:1, 2010:1, 2011:3)
- Named to the WNBA’s Top 20@20 Team (What does this mean? Who knows - but it seems impressive)
- Olympic Gold Medalist (2008, 2012, 2016)
Also: Her Whole VIBE
I'm not going to attempt to describe the vibe, you just have to experience the vibe:
An Exploration: Does She Hate The Sparks?
Prior to the 2020 Wubble Season, Seimone had been on the Lynx. For 14 years. She won 4 titles with the Lynx. She was finals MVP with the Lynx. She is the all time scorer & games played leader with the Lynx. Then she went to the Sparks. The Lynx's natural rival. The team that beat her team in the WNBA finals in 2016. The team that her team beat in the WNBA finals in 2017. This was a SHOCK. This was a BETRAYAL. Most importantly, this was a NARRATIVE.
By all accounts, her play in the Wubble season showed that she was happy with the Sparks. A champion among other champions, she went 6 for 6 in her first game off the bench with the Sparks. But does her face tell another story?
THE EVIDENCE:
In literally every hype of video for the Sparks, Seimone can be seen looking inexplicably disgruntled in the background:
Ex. A. 8.21.2020: "@cgray209 ready to party" at 0:52, Mone can be seen having a brief moment of joy before she appears to remember that she is in fact on the LA Sparks.
Exs. B - I: Mone can be seen, disgruntled, attempting to leave the huddle of her smiling teammates.
9.8.2020: "Get it, @Marie_Gulitsch" at 0:43
9.6.2020: "Go Chelsea" at 0:42
9.17.2020: "Go Syd" at 0:45
9.10.2020: "Go Slim" at 0:57
9.4.2020: "Go T" at 0:46
8.23.2020: "We in sync today" at 0:49
9.2.2020: "Go CP!" at 0:57
8.31.2020: "We are LA!" at 0:58
Ex. J. 8.28.2020: "Go Coop!" at 0:46 - it appears to be spreading.
Conclusion: Stan Seimone Augustus, Regardless of the Team
An outlier - 9.12.2020: "Go Coop" at 0:47